Weeks One and Two are Through

The first two weeks of Winter term have passed, which means only 21 more weeks until graduation (including Spring Break)! There is a lot to accomplish between now and then. I'm off to a good start though. The first week back, I was doing evaluations, assisting our dentist, and even administered three anesthesia injections (my favor part!). Week two ended with me completing my first patient treatment session. I was fortunate to have the daughter of one of Joel's friends come down to be my patient (or lab rat as she referred to herself). She was the first person that wasn't a complete stranger to brave being my patient! It was awesome! As for the didactic part of the courses, I have been more easily able to study in the evenings with the girls routinely in bed and asleep by 7:30 p.m. I remember terms past where it didn't seem to be until after 9:00 p.m. when I would open the books. This has been nice.

A few days ago, I registered to attend an National Dental Hygiene Review session in Sacramento in February. I am flying down with and will be rooming with four other ladies from the Linn-Benton campus who have very kindly accepted me into their group. Three days of non-stop studying should help me prepare to take the written exam over Spring Break, or perhaps early April. (I haven't scheduled that date yet but will be soon!) The other state written and clinical exams will be taken towards the end of May. It will be nice to have all of those done so once graduation day comes, I'll truly be finished with this chapter. Lord willing!

Graciously, child care for the girls is going wonderfully. Between Grandma Sally Davies, and our new Grammy/Mamoo Vickie Brandt, the girls are well loved and I worry not when I am away. Aunt Martha has helped too, which also is great. Addison continues to attend the Community Action Head Start for preschool, and loves it. We are so blessed to be surrounded by such loving, supportive and encouraging people.

Not a day goes by when my heart doesn't ache for Joel. I miss him terribly, and rather than the pain easing, some days it seems horribly worse - so much my body aches and lips tremble when I cry. This month has brought the beginning of the "this time last year" memories, and as I continue to move forward with life, there is a huge void without him here to be with me and the girls. We worked so hard together to get me to where I am at with school. He sacrificed a lot for me, and I so wish he could be here with me still to keep cheering me on, and to reap the benefits of me succeeding. He was so amazing.

I went to Salem Alliance church service this morning and sat upstairs in the balcony. I raised my hands and sang, "He is exalted," feeling the presence of God, and reaching up as though it would make me be that much more closer to heaven... that much closer to God, and to my Joel. I think about heaven a lot these days and wonder what it truly is like. Is there really an ocean with the perfect temperature, current and swell, for Joel to surf? And in between his sessions, a hammock hanging from two palm trees for him to take naps in the warm sunshine? I like to think so.

I also like to think about the moment I join him there. When I was pregnant with Addison, Joel spontaneously went with two friends on a surfing road trip. Their destination was San Onfre, California. Before he left, I stood outside crying and lecturing the friends about keeping him safe, and getting him back to me. The embrace we had at the airport when he flew home is exactly like the one I dream we will experience again in heaven. He was tan, refreshed, and smiling from ear to ear. He hugged and kissed me so sincerely and passionately. Although he loved surfing, he loved coming home to me more. Now, I cannot wait to go home to be with him.